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The Very Serious Subject of Pet Zombie Care. The Basics.From Jeff Hollander
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If you’re thinking about owning your own lovable dead bag of pus. This book is for you!
Here you’ll learn VERY IMPORTANT tips on how to care for your undead friend, you know the dead guy.
Did you know:
- It’s perfectly OK, to house you little dead friend, some place close to you. You're bound to feel much safer just knowing your deadly buddy is creeping around the house.
- Zombies, are great listeners, you can tell them anything, so don’t be afraid to reveal your deepest darkest, even twisted thoughts, knowing that They’ll never tell a soul!
- Zombies can be dressed up in cute little outfits, yes it’s true! There are some really good tips on how to dress up, you’re drooling corpse, for an exciting night out on the town!
- Zombies, will eat absolutely anything, as long as it’s meaty and flesh like! You’ll find some really great tips on what you can feed them, with out breaking the bank, or landing you in jail!
- Zombies love to go for walks, they do! They love to shamble from place to place. Learn the safe way to go for a stroll, like to a local park, filled with lots of happy children playing, They’ll love seeing your rotting flesh eating buddy, eagerly waiting to greet them with a warm hug.
You can also Learn about:
- Good games to play with your best dead gooey pal, there are plenty of them, and always avoid games that require any kind of thinking, I mean on your zombie’s part, you know, the other mindless dummy, not you.
- How to keep your moaning friend entertained during the night so you can get some rest, without the use of drugs or any kind of stupid silly magical spells either!
- What to do if your best pal, the dead guy, should loose a limb or incur some other kind of boo boo. There are plenty of useful tips on how to fix up any wound, of course without the use of magic as well, because there isn't any, so just get over it.
- How to travel safely, with your lovable ghoulish friend, on that dream vacation of a lifetime. Find out how to board a plane without alerting security or killing any other passengers!
All this and so much more.
- Sales Rank: #2621967 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-03-18
- Released on: 2015-03-18
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
The Manual You will Need If You Love A Zombie to Much. Just feeding it is the problem.
By J. D. Plotner
Outstanding first effort here. I could see this as a movie or TV series. Check it out
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